Struggling

January 21, 2013 at 11:20 pm (Food, Weight) (, , , , )

This past week as been surprisingly difficult. I’ve been struggling with hunger, even a few minutes/hours after eating what should have been a filling meal, chocolate cravings, emotional roller coastering (yay for that time of the month!), weird dreams and not enough sleep. It’s been really hard to stick with the program and I’m frustrated more so because I was so hoping that I’d be able to jump on the 2013 bandwagon and ride it to the finish line without any huge bumps. Not that I ever expect an easy ride, but with all my previous experience with this kind of stuff, I was hoping for a little bit of a smoother trip. Life does have a way of playing out differently than you plan.

I guess it all kind of started with last Monday, it had snowed overnight without warning so roads had not been salted. I had not slept well, but had decided to go to Bootcamp anyway, hoping that the workout would make me feel better (cuz yeah, I’m that far gone with the exercise bug!) Well halfway down the block my car was sliding so much I freaked out, pulled over to the side of the road and walked back home. The rest of the day I spent inside, inactive, although I did refrain from overeating, yay! This event did reinforce the incredible need to replace my tires, something about hearing recommendations from others vs. actually experiencing something personally.

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty unremarkable, although Tuesday was a bit disappointing because SIL and I again had to postpone our snowshoe date, this time indefinitely until I get new tires. Well that and I seemed to always be hungry, nothing I ate helped. Ok, and my daily weigh-in on Wednesday was my lowest yet during this round.

Thursday was crap. I was looking forward to an awesome weigh-in due to Wednesday’s weight, but it’s like my body knew Thursday was weigh-in and so I unexpectedly had a 1lb gain. Then I was forced to forgo lunch because I had to visit my in-laws before I got the chance (and anybody who has ever done Weight Watchers will tell you that they have a food cut-off time on weigh-in day, it’s tradition.) By the time I got home from my meeting I was better (yay for Fiber One Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownie snacks and an Awake Tea Latte from Starbucks) but not really caring about food choices. FYI, Thai food is really not a great option when you are hungry and trying to count points after the fact. Random happiness for the day was that I was chatting with a lady at WW before the meeting and she made a comment to the center coordinator (aka. my old leader) saying that I should be at the scales every week with encouragement and understanding šŸ™‚ And the reply was that I would be behind the counter and in front of the meetings soon enough (if, of course, I was willing.)

Friday I was all set to start a fresh week keeping within my daily points, but somehow that took a turn. Maybe it was due to all the Thai food forcing me to go up in weight again. Or maybe it was because of all the cookies I was making to share with a couple from church and the baking was getting to me (cookies don’t usually tempt me these days) or maybe the lack of sleep, who knows? I did manage to go to bootcamp AND for a walk later with my SIL, so that made the day go better.

On the weekend I was actually pretty proud of myself. I went to a wine and food tasting/pairing with some girl friends and I didn’t totally overeat/drink (helps that I was driving) and then when I got home a realised how many points I did have left I made some soup, hooray! Sadly I followed it up with some chocolate peanut butter mug cake. Those things are sneaky, so easy to make, single serve, relatively ok points-wise (5-8 depending on additions) and great to curb cravings. Apparently it just wasn’t exactly what I was craving this weekend. And then Sunday we went out for lunch/brunch with BIL and SIL at a fantastic breakfast joint that specializes in “healthy” options so side dishes most often are gorgeous displays of fruit, and not just the cheap melon/orange/random grapes fruit, I’m talking kiwi, strawberry, banana, orange, apple, melon, awesome! Afterwards, we went for another walk (they have a dog, walking is good) for more activity points! Dinner was more of the low-point soup, so that I didn’t get tempted by pub food while bowling with more lovely ladies. I tried to satiate my chocolate craving again with some hot chocolate and cookies, but unfortunately it wasn’t working either, so I finally broke down after bowling and make chocolate fudge sauce to put on some ice cream and banana (this conquers all chocolate cravings and has a banana, so it’s healthy, yes? Please?)

So overall I guess it wasn’t a horrible fail this week. I had some tough spots and I had some small victories. This week I just need a small miracle, I hit that new low last Wednesday then shot up 3.5lbs since. I’d really love it to all melt away in the next 3 days so that I can have an overall loss at WW. Historically, once I’ve reached 188 I will go up significantly the following week and take many weeks (or months) to recover. Must get to the low 180’s. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Heck, I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!

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Change is good. Right?

January 11, 2013 at 11:48 pm (Weight) (, , )

This week was a bit sad. On Tuesday my sister-in-law and I were going to go snowshoeing. I’ve been trying to get out to the mountains more and SIL hasn’t ever been before (and she’s trying to find new avenues of exercise,too.) Well, Monday night John came home telling me that the forecast called for heavy rain, therefore heavy snow on the mountains. Since I’m a rebel and don’t have snow tires, he didn’t really want me to be driving up there in slippery conditions. Doesn’t help that my tires are getting older and should soon be replaced. Anyways, we decided to postpone our snowshoe date, hopefully for next week sometime, but the weather will decide.
The really, really sad part of the week was my Weight Watchers meeting. Everything was going great, I was down (almost back to pre-wedding weight again!) and the meeting was about to start when our leader told us that she was no long able to lead our meetings! She is absolutely awesome and by far the best leader I’ve ever had on WW and I was looking forward to reaching Lifetime with her. To be fair, the reason she can’t be our leader anymore is not because she doesn’t want to or because she’s no longer with Weight Watchers, kind of the opposite, she’d love to continue leading us but as she’s the center coordinator, corporate doesn’t want to have to pay her overtime to stay til the end of our meeting šŸ˜¦ So at least we’ll be able to see her if we go into the center any other time. Hopefully our newest leader will get better with time, she was very nervous, and read mostly from her notes šŸ˜¦ Only time will tell. But life is change, we have to accept it, so I will be going back next week and every other week until I reach goal.

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First Week

January 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm (Weight) (, , )

Well, first weight in of 2013 is done. Really proud of myself for getting back into the program so quickly, I was down 3.2lbs so lost everything that I gained the week of Christmas! Just another 3.7 to go to get back down to my lowest.
Since Friday I’ve had a heck of a time keeping with the program though. Friday I had a super tough workout, but more so I was feeling super lightheaded and weak and that usually leads to overeating to compensate and then eating sugar-filled foods as a pick-me-up. Saturday we were invited to a games night at my brother- and sister-in-law’s place. I knew that we’d be out late, I’d been up early and there would be bad food choices there, but somehow through the day I was also not making great choices and ended up getting there with only 5ppts left šŸ˜¦ I think that I will blame the fact that I was baking goodies for my church leaders in preparation for Sunday morning (I volunteered to bring snacks for all the workers that were going to be there from 7:30am!) so I a. focused more on that then making actual meals and b. had to taste one of the scones (maple-oat, 3ppts each) and muffins (blueberry, low-fat, 4ppts each.) Anyways, I started the night well stocking my plate with veggies, a delicious jalapeno greek yoghurt dip and turkey meatballs, but only managed to stay awake to the end of the night by downing copious amounts of diet soda and chowing on chocolate cookies. Not my finest hour.

Sunday was decidedly better. Up early to do final snack prep then off to set-up at church. Finished my serving there then headed to our cousin’s baptism at his home church followed by pho noodle soup for lunch. Super awesome points-wise and cleared out my sinuses nicely! Then it was mostly lazy day from there. Dinner was a bit sketchy, but I ended up with a big pile of veggies covered in turkey, some cheese and some salsa, none of which was remotely appetizing (except maybe the cheese.) And then I derailed again and made chocolate mug cakes, with PB chips for dessert. For the record, I had 10ppts left in my day, but I don’t think cake was the best use for them.

At least today I maintained the weight at my daily weigh-in and my plans for the week involve bootcamp today (DONE!), snowshoeing with my SIL tomorrow and then bootcamp again on Wednesday and Friday. I also have high hopes for setting up a food schedule so that I can pre-plan some meals and have more protein and veggies in the house ready to eat. Time will tell if I follow through on that one.

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Good Weekend, Hectic Week

January 20, 2009 at 5:44 am (Undefined, Weight) (, )

This past weekend I went home, again, against my better judgement. I had already made plans to get my hair cut, help my bf get new glasses and go to a friend’s surprise party so I couldn’t just say no. Luckily this weekend I was totally able to stay on track (with of course a little piece of chocolate cake) and this morning I was down 0.4! I’m so happy because being back I tend to go out to eat a lot and it’s hard to know exactly how many points I’m eating. I’m just really happy I was able to stick to good choices and monitor my hunger.

Now that I’m home, it’s time to hit the ground running and get all my assignments and reports done. I’ve got something due in every class! Today I finished one assignment (due today) and just finished doing a last minute read of a report (due at midnight) so I’m glad that over with. Now it’s on to the report due Thursday and the assignment for Friday morning. I really hope my textbook comes in the mail in the next few days!

This weeks goals are to continue eating within my points and learning from my past time challenges by starting assignments as soon as they are posted. I guess I better get back to it then šŸ™‚

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2009 is here!

January 3, 2009 at 4:52 am (Plans, Weight) (, , , )

Welcome to 2009. I’m ready to get back on track after the Christmas season. I had a really hard time sticking with the program, for some reason eating healthy just wasn’t on my agenda. Running however was a big priority and often made me later for other planned activities.

This year is all about endings and challenges. For the first 4 months I’m moving back home with my parents to finish my engineering degree. This is going to be a big, huge challenge. First off, I’ve been out of school for 16 months, I’m not going to know most of the people there. Second, I’m working part-time still at my current job, holding a job and going to school have never really worked out for me but I’m hoping the reduced course load and the flexibility of the job will work out. Last and most challenging for me is living at home with my parents.

I’ve been living on my own or with others for almost 4 years now. I’ve gotten into my routines and way of doing things that works awesomely for me. I know how to shop and make yummy WW friendly foods. I take care of myself and do exercise. I’ve got a good groove going. When I’m at home that all goes in the gutter. Mom loves to make meals and goes WAY overboard with portion sizes and doesn’t like to use reduced fat foods (but loves to not use oil to stir fry and pan fried meats that benefit from healthy fats). She is constantly making food and then telling me what she put in it AFTER she’s overfilled my plate. I’m going to have to start making food more often, but there is no way that I can make food every night and my mother and sister are very attached to the current food situation (my dad however LOVES to try new foods and has told me he’s going to start eating healthier with me). I’m very worried about this but have got to find the strength to persevere and forge my own way. This is also something I’m going to work on in 2009: making me think I’m important and not caring what other people might think of me for acting that way.

2009 will also be the end of my weight issues. Come hell or high water, by Dec 31, 2009 I WILL WEIGHT 165 LBS OR LESS! I’m hoping that it can be done in 4 months or less but weight loss is a journey and it has ups and downs and plateaus that are all part of the process.

Ongoing good things that I’m looking forward to in 2009 include:

– Fully running the TC 10k in April,

– Making friends with all the new babies arriving this year,

– Spending more time with my fantastic, loving boyfriend, and

– Enjoying life and food to the fullest!

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One week down!

November 20, 2008 at 12:23 am (Weight) (, )

So it’s been a week and I’ve managed to stay pretty well on target! I even when to the island for the day on Saturday, but managed to keep my food in check!

I’ve got to say that I’m really excited about running, it’s been a great sweaty adventure, but it wasn’t nearly as hard as I imagined getting back into the swing of it. I also went on the WiiFit for a while yesterday and did some new exercises and yoga poses. I held the dancer’s pose for the full time without falling!!

I know that it’s only one week, but for now I think: if I can do one week, the rest should be too hard, right?

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Score 1 for Me!

November 13, 2008 at 10:07 pm (Weight) (, , )

So, in accordance with the new plan, I did a 30 min run/walk on the treadmill yesterday. Yes, the schedule did say 40 min, but I decided that I only needed 5 minute warm up and cool down walks. That and using a self powered treadmill is harder for me than it looks! I had to mostly hold the handles to be able to lean forward and propel the belt, if I walked normally, the belt would hardly move! I was very proud of myself.

Today there is little time for WiiFit (which was my plan for non-running days) but this is because I’m going to try Hot Yoga tonight with some friends from Vancouver! I’m very excited because I haven’t done yoga in a while and being in a 40C room while doing yoga sounds both sweaty and alluring. I figure that 60 min of yoga will make up for the lack of WiiFit.

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Lacking Motivation

November 12, 2008 at 8:11 pm (Plans, Weight) (, , )

For the last few weeks my motivation for weight loss has gone down the tube. It all started 3 weeks ago when I had a super busy week full of eating out and running around combined with an unsatiable craving for muffins, brownies and almost all things sugary. It seemed like nothing that week would satisfy me except baked goods and the occasional bit of chicken. The following week I vowed to do better, after the weekend was up (being Hallowe’en I had parties and potlucks and still my craving for cupcakes and cookies). I did fairly well during the week, it’s a lot easier to be good at work were it’s more work to get bad food than to eat the healthy food that I brought. It was also a slower week so I could make dinners and plan for lunches. This current week was another right off. Going to my parents for the weekend always throws a wrench in my plans as my mom is not fond of changing food habits and scoffs at the idea of using lower fat versions of things. Going for 4 days, staying at a hotel (breakfast at restaurants), celebrating a late Thanksgiving (we were camping for the real holiday and this was the first chance to visit my family since), visiting a friends new pizzeria/bistro, and being offered doughgods (think Langos/Elephant Ears/Beaver Tails but 2in across and homemade, that, btw, Mom only makes once a year, maybe) did not help.

I think that my real problem was that I was sick of worrying about food every second of the day. I just wanted to enjoy life and friends and family without being bogged down by attemping to make the healthier choice, there are too many other foods that taste so yummy and I haven’t had forever. I also feel like I’ve lost 70-80lbs, I’m doing way better than I was 2 years ago, why should I need to lose more? These I have noticed are my road blocks. My issue is that I’m not sure how to circumvent these road blocks and get back on the bandwagon.

I’ve read a lot of websites that say to remember some time when you were really happy with yourself or get out a dress that used to fit you and that you want to wear again or think of your original reason for loosing weight or think of how you want to feel for a particular event or date. But every time in the past that I think I was really happy or felt special, I was heavier, I’ve never been a healthy weight (unless you count me as a baby). For example, the last time I weighed 185 lbs, I was probably about 13-14 years old. I’m charting new waters, I won’t find a memory that will propel me forward. The reasonĀ I first started loosing weight is now mostlyĀ invalid, I wanted to loose weight so I was healthier, happier and didn’t have to shop in the “fat lady” stores. I wanted to be able to fit into a size 12 (which I can quite comfortably do in most stores) and haveĀ the choice to find my own style (which I have not been financially able to achieve.) And feeling healthier and happier just doesn’t seem to have the same motivating powers. Lastly, setting a date for me is hard. It’s not like I have my wedding in a few months which is probably the only deadline that I’d actually stick to. My philosophy with life is that it happens, if you miss a date or event, your life is not going to fall apart, it’ll keep going, you might slow down, but eventually, it’ll all work out and there is a light on the other side. So if I miss my goal, I’d feel a bit bad, but tell myself it was only an arbitrary day not the end of the world.

However, feel pretty gross after my 3 week food binge, so I took the time this morning to actually write down what I was feeling, why I still wanted to loose weight, what my goals were and how I was going to accomplish it. I think that I will post it all in a new page, then I can refer back to it when I need to andĀ I can get comments, engouragementĀ and such. I’ll also stick the paper to my fridge so I can look at it every morning. I also printed out a training clinic for learning to run 10K and put dates next to the practice runs so I know when and what I’m doing. Hopefully by the end of 9 weeks (I’m starting at week 4, 3 min run and 2 min walk) I will be able to keep up with my best friend while we train for the 10K at the end of April. I’m also going to try and update this more often with thoughts and such… it is apparently going to turn into a weight loss blog. But not for long!! I will succeed!!!

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Three Posts in a Row

October 3, 2008 at 5:34 pm (Weight) (, , )

Work has been ridiculously busy lately and I’ve barely gotten a break to do anything, let alone find time to write a post. So I’ve innondated the blog with three posts today. In theory, IĀ wanted to publishĀ Gradma’s Fabric on Tuesday, but my computer didn’t save automatically and I lost over half of what I had written (I hope my re-write was somewhat close to the original). And of course, October is Here was ment to post on Wednesday, but I was busy bustin’ my ass on the treadmill and getting ready for my weigh in. Yesterday was a fantastic 13 hour work day that involved four ferry rides andĀ three hours of driving. So now I’m here, Friday at last and not a whole lot to do this weekend (at least nothing I have to get up super early for).

I have now updated my weigh in page. I had a not so great week two weeks ago, a friendly get together with lots of food and fun followed by a really late dinner where I overate did not help. Last week was very good though, despiteĀ eating at my favourite breakfast restaurant on Sunday when I knowingly had a Turkey dinner get together that night (there were tons and tons of warm veggie side dishes that I piled up beside my small portion of turkey then avoided all the pies and tarts and opted for a fruit dessert. Just proves that I can splurge and have fun as long as I plan and stick to it.

This week discovered the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches and I will never look back. Those things are freaking delicious!!! And so filling, for only 2 points each!!! I refuse to leave any less thanĀ two packages of those in my freezer šŸ™‚ I alsoĀ went on the treadmill for 45 minutes on Monday and Wednesday, so I’m hoping to do it again tonight and then keep it up next week. It’s really fairly easy to do while watching an episodeĀ of Babylon 5 (I’ve got another 2.6 seasons to go and then there’s always House, Heroes, and Doctor Who if I get bored). I haven’t been running, but I’ve been doing hills at a fast walking pace that leaves my legs feeling a bit like jelly and my shirt wet, so I think it’s good enough. I discovered that I shuffle my feet some while I’m walking, which doesn’t really affect me when using a motorized treadmill (like the one at my boyfriend’s house) but I’ll have to learn to pick up my feet when going on the manual tradmill at home. I’m looking forward to another good loss this week, got to keep on that schedule for my goal!

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Christmas Goal

September 18, 2008 at 5:04 am (Weight) (, )

Last week I decided to make a goal to lose 24 lbs from then until Christmas. Weight Watchers estimates that you can lose 1-2 lbs a week while on the program, so I figured that a goal to lose 1.6 lbs a week until then would be perfect. If I reach my goal, John has said he’ll buy me a day at the spa (including a mani, pedi, massage and lunch). I’ve also decided that if I don’t get to my goal but lose a pound a week, I’ll treat myself to a mini spa day with just a mani and pedi with a friend.

I just got back from my Weight Watchers meeting and I was down 7.2 lbs! And yes, that is a lot to lose in just a week, but I had previously gained 6 lbs, so they were easy pounds to lose. This means I’m well on my way to my Christmas Goal!

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