Struggling

January 21, 2013 at 11:20 pm (Food, Weight) (, , , , )

This past week as been surprisingly difficult. I’ve been struggling with hunger, even a few minutes/hours after eating what should have been a filling meal, chocolate cravings, emotional roller coastering (yay for that time of the month!), weird dreams and not enough sleep. It’s been really hard to stick with the program and I’m frustrated more so because I was so hoping that I’d be able to jump on the 2013 bandwagon and ride it to the finish line without any huge bumps. Not that I ever expect an easy ride, but with all my previous experience with this kind of stuff, I was hoping for a little bit of a smoother trip. Life does have a way of playing out differently than you plan.

I guess it all kind of started with last Monday, it had snowed overnight without warning so roads had not been salted. I had not slept well, but had decided to go to Bootcamp anyway, hoping that the workout would make me feel better (cuz yeah, I’m that far gone with the exercise bug!) Well halfway down the block my car was sliding so much I freaked out, pulled over to the side of the road and walked back home. The rest of the day I spent inside, inactive, although I did refrain from overeating, yay! This event did reinforce the incredible need to replace my tires, something about hearing recommendations from others vs. actually experiencing something personally.

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty unremarkable, although Tuesday was a bit disappointing because SIL and I again had to postpone our snowshoe date, this time indefinitely until I get new tires. Well that and I seemed to always be hungry, nothing I ate helped. Ok, and my daily weigh-in on Wednesday was my lowest yet during this round.

Thursday was crap. I was looking forward to an awesome weigh-in due to Wednesday’s weight, but it’s like my body knew Thursday was weigh-in and so I unexpectedly had a 1lb gain. Then I was forced to forgo lunch because I had to visit my in-laws before I got the chance (and anybody who has ever done Weight Watchers will tell you that they have a food cut-off time on weigh-in day, it’s tradition.) By the time I got home from my meeting I was better (yay for Fiber One Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownie snacks and an Awake Tea Latte from Starbucks) but not really caring about food choices. FYI, Thai food is really not a great option when you are hungry and trying to count points after the fact. Random happiness for the day was that I was chatting with a lady at WW before the meeting and she made a comment to the center coordinator (aka. my old leader) saying that I should be at the scales every week with encouragement and understanding 🙂 And the reply was that I would be behind the counter and in front of the meetings soon enough (if, of course, I was willing.)

Friday I was all set to start a fresh week keeping within my daily points, but somehow that took a turn. Maybe it was due to all the Thai food forcing me to go up in weight again. Or maybe it was because of all the cookies I was making to share with a couple from church and the baking was getting to me (cookies don’t usually tempt me these days) or maybe the lack of sleep, who knows? I did manage to go to bootcamp AND for a walk later with my SIL, so that made the day go better.

On the weekend I was actually pretty proud of myself. I went to a wine and food tasting/pairing with some girl friends and I didn’t totally overeat/drink (helps that I was driving) and then when I got home a realised how many points I did have left I made some soup, hooray! Sadly I followed it up with some chocolate peanut butter mug cake. Those things are sneaky, so easy to make, single serve, relatively ok points-wise (5-8 depending on additions) and great to curb cravings. Apparently it just wasn’t exactly what I was craving this weekend. And then Sunday we went out for lunch/brunch with BIL and SIL at a fantastic breakfast joint that specializes in “healthy” options so side dishes most often are gorgeous displays of fruit, and not just the cheap melon/orange/random grapes fruit, I’m talking kiwi, strawberry, banana, orange, apple, melon, awesome! Afterwards, we went for another walk (they have a dog, walking is good) for more activity points! Dinner was more of the low-point soup, so that I didn’t get tempted by pub food while bowling with more lovely ladies. I tried to satiate my chocolate craving again with some hot chocolate and cookies, but unfortunately it wasn’t working either, so I finally broke down after bowling and make chocolate fudge sauce to put on some ice cream and banana (this conquers all chocolate cravings and has a banana, so it’s healthy, yes? Please?)

So overall I guess it wasn’t a horrible fail this week. I had some tough spots and I had some small victories. This week I just need a small miracle, I hit that new low last Wednesday then shot up 3.5lbs since. I’d really love it to all melt away in the next 3 days so that I can have an overall loss at WW. Historically, once I’ve reached 188 I will go up significantly the following week and take many weeks (or months) to recover. Must get to the low 180’s. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Heck, I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!

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